Young, Fly and Slaying Cancer
April 28, 2017 made one year since I got my most recent “big chop” (cut all my hair off down to the roots), but as I was celebrating my milestone of hair growth, my best friend, who is also like a younger sister to me, was tackling the worst news of her life.
“She (the doctor) walked in and looked at me with 'that' look, and I already knew it was bad news. She said, 'It’s very bad. You have breast cancer.'"
At the age of 23, LeNishka Stubbs, my longtime friend, now a young woman, was diagnosed with breast cancer.
“I was alone when the doctor gave me the news, but I had to call my sister immediately, because as soon as the words 'breast cancer' left the doctor’s mouth, I drifted into a whole other world. My sister had to speak with the doctor and tell me everything she said later that day. There were so many emotions racing through my body, all I could do was cry for days upon days.”
I will never forget how I felt when LeNishka messaged me on Whatsapp with the words, “I was diagnosed with breast cancer.” My heart sank because the first thing I thought was, “How? She’s so young!” But, as many have proven, cancer does not care about age, religion, nationality, race, wealth, health or how in shape a person is. I almost feel bad for cancer this time around, though, because it certainly does not know who it is messing with!
LeNishka describes herself as being the type of person to always follow her gut feeling, which literally saved her life this time.
“I routinely check my breasts for lumps and this time was no different, except I actually felt a lump.”
She explains that she immediately scheduled an appointment with her family doctor to see if it was what she thought it was, to which her doctor confirmed.
LeNishka was tested for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, which, according to cancer.gov, are "human genes that produce tumor suppressor proteins". These proteins help to repair damaged DNA, so when either of them is altered in any way, DNA damage may be irreparable. This increases the likelihood of the cells to develop additional genetic alterations that can ultimately lead to cancer.
As fate would have it, LeNishka did test positive for BRCA1, which, along with BRCA2, is an inherited mutation; although she is still not certain whether she inherited it from her mom's or dad's side. Sadly, BRCA1 also increases the risk of ovarian cancer, and has also been linked to an increased risk of other types of cancer. In fact, there is no early detection for ovarian cancer. When a woman is diagnosed, the cancer is already at an advanced stage. Because of this, LeNishka is not risking her health, but is instead taking every precaution she can.
She will eventually have her ovaries removed.
As for now, with her breasts, LeNishka's initial options were to either have only the lump removed or the entire right breast. But, after educating herself more about BRCA1, she decided to simply go ahead and have a double mastectomy.
When I heard “double mastectomy”, the first thing I thought about was how she felt as a woman. Although LeNishka has always been of slim build, as she matured, so did her breasts, especially on her tiny frame. So, naturally, I was curious to know how she felt about having a part of her womanhood removed, as I, too, would wonder the same if I was in such a situation.
“When it comes to the removal of my breasts, my first concern is how will this affect me physically as a woman. How would it affect future relationships and how men find me attractive? I'm still young and I would still like to feel attractive and look like I've always looked."
Aside from attraction and looks, was also LeNishka's concern about the way her body will function. As it pertains to breastfeeding, she admits, "I know now that that will never be an option."
One good thing about the removal, LeNishka revealed, is that she has the option to have breast reconstruction surgery (implants), as a way for her to still "feel (and look) like a woman, or like I did prior to the surgery".
Having expressed an interest in breastfeeding, it is clear that LeNishka wants to have children in her future and, to many, having one's ovaries removed sounds like the complete opposite of this goal. However, if she catches the cancer in time, all of her ovaries do not have to be removed and, if it is meant to be, her remaining ovaries, combined with her fertility, shall bring her her blessings.
I must say, that throughout the entire process, thus far, LeNishka has been a warrior. Although cancer does not care about a person’s age, age has definitely been on LeNishka’s side. Since having her first mastectomy in June, chemotherapy, which started one month after, has, for the most part, been very tolerable. She has to complete two rounds, having already completed the first, which was the most intense, but she is a trouper.
There is a common misconception that cancer patients are bedridden or always in pain, and I am guilty of thinking the same about LeNishka. There are days where I may not hear from her for the first part of the day, and I'm concerned, thinking she may be in pain or sleeping, and just at this moment, her name would pop up with the most random message. "Hey hon! How are you? I just got done grocery shopping" and I'm sitting there like, "Huh?!" LOL! Yes, there are days when she may be super exhausted and hungry, but there are days such as these where she would be cleaning the bathroom, or cooking, or doing some type of activity that one may not associate with someone going through chemotherapy!
LeNishka does admit, though, that chemo has resulted in black spots appearing on her tongue and under her feet, and that she, inevitably, lost hair all over her body, including her eyelashes (which I had never heard of). However, to brace herself for full hair loss, she sped up the process by cutting her beautiful long strands into a cute pixie cut. She had always donned long hair, ever since we were kids, so a pixie cut was big for her!
Making the decision herself to remove half of her hair before cancer decided for her to remove all, is just one example of how LeNishka has taken cancer by the horns. She does not take pity on herself, and does not want others to pity her, saying, "Some days, I take it super easy but, at the same time, I don't want to 'baby' my body".
Unfortunately, LeNishka was unable to physically participate in any Breast Cancer Awareness Month activities this year, as she was enduring chemo, but her friends participated on her behalf by racing for the cure. Not wanting to miss out too much, LeNishka managed to sneak in a few ways to pay her respects. Some days, she would wear a pink article of clothing, or she would rock pink eye shadow and lip gloss, and even pink nail polish.
For her surgery and treatments, LeNishka has been in the care of the doctors at the Irving Greenberg Family Cancer Center at the Queensway Carleton Hospital, in Ottawa, Canada, where she said her doctors are amazing and could not be any better.
"From the very start, my doctors have made sure that I understand every single thing that has to be done to me. They treat me well. They are amazing! I could not ask for better doctors."
As it pertains to financing her medical expenses, LeNishka, who is Bahamian, thanks God that she is in Canada, where healthcare is free, as opposed to the USA where her mother would probably have to shell out hundreds of thousands of dollars, or here at home, where she may not have gotten as thorough of treatment and as friendly of doctors.
Nevertheless, LeNishka's advice to other cancer patients, especially those as young, or younger, than her, is to make sure to eat a well-balanced, nutrient-filled diet, as chemotherapy, essentially, is poison that is designed to kill bad cells, but that ends up killing good cells in the process, (hence hair loss). She also urges patients to always remain positive and keep positive people around them, while also establishing some type of spiritual connection to a higher being.
"I have definitely grown closer to God throughout this entire process because I realized that if I did not fully give myself to Him, that I would have no hope and not be able to look forward to tomorrow. I'm not trying to make non-believers believers or get deeply involved in religion, but what works for me is prayer, talking to God and having a relationship with Him, and I simply wish the same comfort and hope for others."
LeNishka is looking forward to completing her second round of chemo in January 2018, graduating college, and going on vacation after all is said and done, which I'm sure is much needed at this point. I love her and I wish her and all others who are trying their best to beat this debilitating disease all the best and speedy recoveries.
If you believe you may be at risk for breast cancer, (or your mother, grandmother, sister, etc. has been diagnosed/died from cancer), please get tested right away. A lump may not always be cancerous and it may not always be detected, as breast tissue can sometimes be quite dense, but being examined will always be worth the while. Experts suggests that women should not be screened for breast cancer or have mammograms earlier than age 50, unless particularly at risk. Visit Stop Cancer Fund and Cancer.Org for more information. It's never too late to get tested and to raise awareness!
